Day 28 Christmas Eve

Ive been looking back over the Advent blogs of the past few years.  The first one was in 2012 so there have been rather a lot of posts and musings you have all faithfully trawled through!  Thank you :)  it is always really humbling for me when you guys read and enjoy and comment on and share these.
Blogger gives me statistics on where in the world these posts are read and how many people read each post.  And I have found it interesting to note that the posts which are most widely read are mostly the ones which I consider to be ' contentious ' in some way.   This year the blog entitled ' on being grumpy' has had the most reads!   A few years ago the post on depression was read by twice as many people as anything else I wrote that year. And the posts on bomb strikes and refugees have also been well received.

It strikes me that what people really appreciate is honesty and some down to earth nitty gritty sharing of the dilemmas we face as Christians.  Yes, we all like a good dose of hope and joy and jokes and funny stories.  But what people are hungry for is someone standing alongside them who says ' I dont really understand how this works'  or '  Im actually finding this quite hard'  or ' why do I feel like this?'  Sometimes its good to see someone else put into words things which you have been thinking or feeling but haven't yet managed to express.

God knows that this is what we are like.  He knows that we need someone to walk alongside us and tell us that what we are feeling is understandable.  So He gives us His word.  Full of wit and wisdom and stories of people who have been through that very thing we are facing today.  He gives us His Spirit, to comfort us when we mourn, lift us when we stumble and guide us when we are directionless and wandering.   And He gives us His Son.  The wonderful counsellor, the mighty one, the prince of peace, the light in the darkness, companion on the road. Alpha and Omega.  He didnt have to do that, but He did.  And don't we love Him for it?

It has been so good to take some time every day to ponder on what God has been saying and doing and to focus on the true meaning of Christmas again this year.   Not many of my thoughts have been original or terribly profound, but writing them down is a discipline which is good for me.   I hope reading them has been in some small way good for you too.

I wish you a blessed, peaceful, happy Christmas full of the word the Spirit and the Son of God.  And a 2017 which sees your prayers answered and your lives growing in all His goodness  xxx

Day 27 ( children)

I've been very impressed this year by how many churches and charities and organisations are going out of their way to give Christmas to the poor.   There is a cafe in Belfast which is opening to give a free Christmas lunch to fifteen people on Sunday.  Our own church is doing the same and has also given out over 200 hampers this year.  In the next town a charity is busy giving presents to children

Hampers ( boxes) of food and gifts donated
 by our  church this year 

who are not going to have much of a Christmas this year - it is very heartening to know that in the midst of the getting and spending people do care and are thinking about how to practically reach out to the marginalised and vulnerable in society.

Today I dropped off a couple of Christmas puddings to a charity which was asking for the last few items on a shopping list of things for families who would otherwise not be having Christmas dinner on Sunday.  Ben asked what I was doing and why, so I tried to explain.  But when you are 11 and you have always had Christmas it is hard to imagine how difficult things must be for anyone not to be able to afford it.   I think back to my own childhood, when my parents had divorced and my Mother was working all the hours she could just to put food on the table.  We had nothing.  Not that we realised that as children really.  But looking back now I can see how hard Mum struggled to give us a good Christmas - saving up all year and doubtless going without lots of things she would have liked herself just so my brother and I would not be disappointed.   Im sure she felt it was worth the effort on Christmas Day when we were happy and amazed at the things Santa had left for us.  Just as I will feel it is worth the effort on Sunday - because I just want my kids to be delighted.  

It seems to be hard wired into us as human beings that we put our kids first.  Not just when they are tiny helpless infants, but as they grow to adulthood too.  We will sacrifice and spend and taxi and serve and nurse and discipline - not just so that they will turn out to be confident, happy, well adjusted individuals who can cope in the world, but because doing those things actually makes us happy as parents.  Or as adults involved in a child's life.  Meeting the needs of children fulfils something in us.  And when we see children in need we are moved to respond.

All of which makes it all the more remarkable that God, the Father of all fathers, the essence of love, the heart of compassion and kindness and mercy, chose to hand over His one and only Son and see Him born into poverty.  See Him struggle as a refugee and live under the rule of an occupying army.  Watch Him grow up as a humble carpenter, facing the daily dangers of injury and illness and accident.   How often would the heart of the Father have longed to step in and provide for His Son - especially at the end of His life ?  When the angels were straining to go and rescue Jesus and He Himself was pleading  ' Let this cup pass me by'    If that was your son pleading what would you have done??

If we love children how much more does God love His own Son?  And yet He set aside that overwhelming overpowering love in favour of you.   He loved you more.  He loved you so much that He was prepared to see His own Son crucified so that you could know Him.   It is hard to think about isnt it?    This Christmas as we watch small people delighting in gifts and enjoying the results of all the hard work and time and money we have put in let us remember the God who spent so much more so that we could have peace, joy and eternal life.  And let us be more thankful than we have ever been.

Day 26 friends

Ive got a migrane and not much energy to think about blog today so am directing you to a post from two years ago about friendship which bears repeating :)  Love you all   xxx

http://2015adventblog.blogspot.co.uk/2015/12/thursday-17th-december.html

Day 25 ( receipts)

Excitement and exhaustion are mounting in equal measures.  The boys finished school yesterday and I finish work today so the end is in sight .  I cant wait to not have to get up in the morning and for the odd pyjama day by the fire.  And for the boys to open their presents.  That will be the best bit.

Ive kept the receipts for most things , just in case.  And as I was thinking about the blog yesterday the word ' receipt'  kept coming back to me.   A receipt is a piece of paper - a document- which proves that money, goods or information have been received.  It proves to both the buyer and the seller that a transaction has taken place and possession of that document usually entitles the buyer to a refund or a return in case of faults or dissatisfaction.   Funny isnt it that a small piece of paper can be so important. ?

These days people place alot of importance on proof.  If you can't prove you bought something from a certain place at a certain time then the chances of getting your money back are slim.  It is hard evidence and people would rather believe the piece of paper than your word.

What is the hard evidence in your life that you have been purchased by God?

If someone wanted proof that you have been paid for - what would you show them?  The hard evidence rather than just your words.

It seems to me that the receipt we have to show people is the Holy Spirit and more specifically the fruit that He grows in us.

For me the patience and the self control are the hardest to display to others.   I think I can display some peace and some faithfulness and quite a bit of kindness.   But self control...... hmmmm,  I'm not sure there is enough of that in my life to constitute hard evidence of belonging to Jesus.   But hey!  I'm a work in progress.  And so are you  😊

This Christmas as we put receipts in a safe place just in case, and as we possibly return things in January to get a different size or colour or whatever, let us remember that just as the world requires those small pieces of paper as hard evidence that something has been purchased, so the world is looking for hard evidence that we belong to Jesus.   It's in our words, our attitudes and our actions.  It's the fruit of a HOLY Spirit who is living in us and constantly changing us to be more like Jesus.   He is our heavenly receipt.  Proof of purchase.  Proof of ownership.  And we are so thankful that He has come and put His stamp on us.

Day 24 gold and frankincense

https://soundcloud.com/carolinehamilton/gold-and-frankincense   A song I wrote for Christmas sung by Anne Laure Jackson.

Day 23 Aleppo

Where is God?  Why is He allowing this to happen?  Why can He not intervene and stop the madness and destruction and wanton evil which is causing so much horrendous suffering?   Where is He for the mother who has seen her children buried under tonnes of rubble and the traumatised two year old clinging to the nurse in abject terror?   Where is He?    I dont think there is anyone on the planet who believes in God and has not asked this question - and is not asking it at the moment as the tragedy unfolds on our screens daily. Where are you God and why aren't you stopping this? I asked this

question about another tragic happening many years ago . I was really really angry with God and I wasn't going to let Him off with any of the pat answers we are so often handed by the church and nice people who are good at heart but who don't have an answer. I wanted a real answer. And I wanted it from God. I got it. After a while of shouting at Him and telling Him He wasn't doing a good enough job.

Sitting in my car at the traffic lights one day, as clear as anything I heard Him say - Caz, I take full responsibility. That was it. That was what He said. Nothing else.

I started to think about that. God takes full responsibility for everything which happens on this planet. It is His world and He knows every detail about what is going on in it. So if anyone is responsible, then I guess it is Him. What does it mean to ' take responsibility' ? I suppose it partly means to be able to give a full and satisfactory answer as to why. God knows everything. He knows every person in Aleppo, their circumstance and their history. He knows the person pulling the trigger and the one under the rubble. He knows all their possible futures too. He sees what is going to happen in Aleppo in ten, fifty, three hundred years time. He knows who needs to be there and why at every moment so that His plan can come to pass. And He also knows who He has destined to be in glory with Him for eternity. The children who have died in the past months have been rescued from that hell hole and are now with Him in heaven - I am absolutely sure of it. There will be many many more who we don't expect to be there who will will recognise when we join them there. Refugees and victims and the poor, marginalised and downtrodden. He went after them when He was on earth and He is still in the business of going after them now.

I found this quote about responsibility

God has already fully accepted the pain of the consequences of His actions. When He allows someone to die in a bombing raid - He has already died there first. This is pretty hard to get our head around and Im probably not explaining it very well. I hope the Holy Spirit will help you as you read this to understand what I understood in the days and weeks after God spoke to me all those years ago. He is only able to take responsibility for the suffering in the world because He has suffered. He knows. He has been through it and much more, taking upon Himself not only the sufferings of the whole world, but the sins as well. We have no idea what He went through on the cross to bring us into peace and relationship with God. But having been through that He can now look us straight in the eye and say ' I can justify my action and my inaction in every case' There are reasons. The reasons are to do with the much bigger picture as well as the eternal destiny of each individual. It is hard to grasp, but with all my heart I know this to be true. God IS good. And He is NOT passively sitting by watching the suffering in Aleppo. He is suffering with those who suffer, weeping with those who weep, grieving over the selfishness and corruption and murderous vanity of those who are fighting. He is appearing to those who are dying and reaching out to them in their last moments. He is giving strength to rescuers and medics and wisdom to the church which is still there. And He is not afraid to stand up and own it all.

I recently heard a sermon given by a pastor from Egypt. Horrendous things are happening in Egypt - especially to Christians. The pastor told us not to pray for an end to the persecution but to pray that the church might have strength and hope in the midst of it because Jesus was doing mighty and amazing things on a daily basis. The blood of the martyrs is a powerful thing. The testimony of the church is shocking and awesome to a society which believes in vengeance and punishment rather than forgiveness and grace. Miracles are happening everywhere all the time and thousands and thousands are coming into the kingdom. Yes, churches are being burned out and people are being murdered and living in abject terror for their lives. And yet they can still say - don't pray for this to stop, we can see what God is doing here. Awesome eh?

In the Old testament God said to Moses ( Ex 33;19) ' I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion ' In other words, God will not be constrained by our ways of thinking. He will be outrageously kind where He sees fit - in a gazillion places where we would not be kind. He will show mercy to those who don't deserve it and He will not intervene where we think He should. He is God. We know what He is like - He is like Jesus. And we love Jesus with all our hearts. So it is time to grow up and trust Him. And pray pray pray that His will be done in every soul in Aleppo, that His purposes are worked out, that His mercy brings all of those who are dying into His glory. His enemy is defeated but the death throes are ugly. Let us do our part in dismantling the works of darkness in every way we possibly can.

Day 22 ( trust)

The boys are getting excited about Christmas.  There are presents under the tree and they are periodically picking them up and shaking, poking, prodding at them.  Sam is convinced that his present is a rucksack - and he is not impressed.  Ben has decided that the square parcel with his name on it is a lever arch file!!!   He is serious.  

This amazes me.  My boys know me really well.  They have never not got the things they want for Christmas ( within reason) and know that I always manage to find them good surprise presents too..... and yet they are still convinced that this year, for some odd reason, I'm going to have bought them rubbish gifts.   Partly this is because they can see what is wrapped up under the tree and their imaginations will only take them so far when it comes to guessing whats in them.   And partly its a fear of not getting something good. And some of it must be a lack of trust in me.

I expect I'm exactly the same with God.  I know Him, I know that He has never failed to meet my needs in the past.  He has always come up with the goods at the crucial moment and yet.... and yet maybe this time will be the time He wont.    Why do we do that??   It makes no sense but doubt seems to be our default mode doesn't it?   I wonder if it is a bit like being able to see the wrapped present but not having the imagination to work out what is in it and therefore going with the first thing which comes to mind.   It is soft and squishy and big so it must be a rucksack.   We look at the evidence before our eyes.   Its unlikely and improbable and therefore God won't do it.  Or it has taken longer than we wanted so it's not happening.    And we fear the consequences of not getting the answer we need - and then fear drives out faith and we find ourselves in a cycle of doubt.

I have been somewhat amused at Sam and Ben's reactions to the presents under the tree.  You see I know what is in them.  I know that they are going to be delighted when they open them and that there is not a rucksack or a lever arch file in sight 😊  They are getting themselves all worked up over nothing.  I could choose to set them right and just tell them what the presents are - but that would spoil the whole fun of the big reveal on Christmas day.

If you are poking and prodding at your prayer requests and have convinced yourself that God isnt going to give you what you need or desire then remember that He is the giver of GOOD gifts.  Every good and perfect thing that you have in your life comes from Him , the Father of lights.  If we, who are sinners, know how to give great Christmas presents to our kids and to each other, how much more will our Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit, and with Him all things, to those who love Him?  And trust me , the day to open those gifts is coming soon.  Just hang on for a little while longer.  God can't wait to see the look on your face when you receive the gifts He has for you!